When you are a talker like me, learning to listen becomes the struggle.
I am an external processor. I need to be able to talk through decisions, even if it means talking to myself. The main reason I like (need) to talk through big decisions is because I like to be confirmed. I want to know that I am making the right choice. My poor husband has learned to be an excellent listener.
If only it were that easy. If only there was a buzzer in your head that would go off if you were about to make the wrong choice. Or if at least every decision had a 50/50 chance of succeeding. I like those odds. But life isn’t like that. Life is full of choices and free will, and that terrifies me.
But God gives us something so much better than 50/50 odds. He gave us His presence, His spirit. What could be better?! When you are a talker like me, learning to listen becomes the struggle.
I strive for wisdom. I strive to know. I am a new momma. My sweet girl has had many medical challenges in her 10 months of life. When a doctor has asked me for my thoughts, my brain has gone to mush a time or two. It’s exhausting to feel like you have to make those decisions. And then I remember who I have on my side, who is living in me. God is there.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault.” James 1: 5
The spirit of God changes the way I think. Wisdom is there, I just have to ask for it. God loves my verbal processing. He loves my seeking heart. And in stillness, He is there to guide me.