The Thick Heavy Darkness
There have been times I’ve sat in the spiritual blackness and panicked, wondering if I’d ever see the light to lead me way back to the sunlight, to easier times.
Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
It’s not often in the world we live in, that we have an opportunity to experience pitch blackness. Even when we go out at night, there are street lights, heavenly lights, and even the lights on our cell phones.
When Jim and I were barely newlyweds, we moved to Craig, Colorado to begin a ministry with teens. Within the first couple of weeks the kids talked us into doing some cave exploring. At first it was easy going, but soon the path back through the cave went through some very tight squeezes that thinking about it now, gives me almost a panicked feeling. At one point we all turned off our flashlights and I’ll never forget just how thick the darkness was. I was never so happy to get back out into the sunlight!
At times, I’ve felt that thick, heavy darkness in my spiritual life. There have been times I’ve sat in the spiritual blackness and panicked, wondering if I’d ever see the light to lead me way back to the sunlight, to easier times. The thing is, I was the one who turned off the flashlight. I didn’t reach for the light of God’s word to guide me. I was even mad at God for the darkness. Can you relate? I had forgotten about the Psalm that promised me that even though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, He would be with me.
I’ve been a Christian since I was seven years old. I’ve seen a lot of mountains and valleys. The thing I’ve learned through my journey is that it’s always better when I’m daily in God’s Word. I’ve learned to keep the flashlight on to be able to navigate life’s pathway. For me it means getting up before everyone in the house to spend time reading the Bible. I can’t tell you how many times I will be reading along and all of a sudden a passage that I’ve read before just jumps off the page and illuminates the current circumstance, giving direction for the next steps ahead. Conversely, I could also share with you the times that I missed that time and felt lost as to what to do next.
In the deepest, darkest times, those times that rob a person of sleep at night, I’ve reached for my phone to try and help me fall asleep. I can tell you what works and what doesn’t. When Satan’s lies are swirling around in my head, it doesn’t work to get on Facebook and just scroll. I’ve never found any peace from using that artificial light.
Peaceful sleep has always come when I open up my Bible app and allow scripture to be read over me as I fall asleep. Satan cannot stick around with his dark intentions when the Word of God is being spoken aloud. Because of God’s Word, I’m no longer afraid of the dark. I have a powerful flashlight!