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What to Look For in A Spouse

The next time you start feeling plain and worthless, remember your true worth is found in Jesus Christ.

You may have heard a quote by Kate Angell that simply says “Outer beauty attracts, but inner beauty captivates.” As humans, we tend to grow up hearing countless concepts about outward beauty, whether that be in magazines, television, or nowadays social media. This kind of toxicity can easily flood our minds and if we’re not careful it can become a stumbling block in our Christian walk. And for most of us, it’s hard not to buy into the hype of outward appearances being important which then leads to having a negative effect on us, especially women. It’s difficult not to look at someone we feel is beautiful and instantly feel the envy creeping up inside of us. Come on, I know we’ve all been there! We wish we could be more like them – prettier, thinner, taller, shorter, blonder, tanner, the list goes on. What people don’t talk about often enough though, is inward beauty.

Outward beauty is of little importance, but inward beauty and a quiet and gentle spirit are of great worth in God’s sight, as 1 Peter 3:4 points out. Sure, it’s okay to want to look your best and I’m certain we all have at least one thing we’d like to change about ourselves or our personalities, but if you have an ugly heart, the outward appearance is of no value at all.  In 1 Samuel 16:7, we see very clearly “the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” And who can forget about the poetic references found in Psalm 139 about God forming us in our mother’s wombs, being fearfully and wonderfully made, and knowing everything about us even before we were born? That’s beauty to me. You may have also heard the phrase “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, while this somewhat rings true and outward beauty can be subjective, we need to cling to the truth from our Creator that He loves and sees us all the same; no one is more or less attractive in His eyes. And spoiler alert, there won’t be any beauty pageants in Heaven, so you can put away your bedazzled sash and plastic tiara!

And speaking of attraction, would we rather someone love us for our looks, which will quickly fade or for our hearts and our minds? I don’t have much experience in the marriage department because I’ve never been married, but I do know, thanks to what God says about me and the inward beauty He speaks of, what to seek out in a potential spouse. God teaches us to love Him first and to love others as we love ourselves.

For those of us that are single, we need to be picky about those we date, to focus on the character traits of Jesus in another person, to look at their hearts and not settle. God has blessed us with this precious time of waiting to also mold us into the people He wants us to become. It’s imperative to not settle for anyone that doesn’t put Jesus at the center of their lives. As women, we should continue to become more and more like a Proverbs 31 woman – just read over that for a list of awesome character traits!

Regarding those that are married – wives, continue submitting yourselves to your husbands, and husbands, continue being considerate and respectful toward your wives. We should all strive to see each other as Christ sees his Church, a beautiful bride. So, the next time you start feeling plain and worthless, remember your true worth is found in Jesus Christ. You’re beautiful because you are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth and everything in between. Just think, the same God that created the stars is the same God that created you! Try to begin seeing yourself through His eyes. Because, when God calls you beautiful, you know it to be true because He is truth.

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