I walked into the apartment building and saw her standing at the top of the stairs. I remember thanking God that she was upright and coherent. As I walked up the stairs closer to her, I realized something wasn’t right. Her eyes were glazed over, snot was running down her face, and any words she attempted to speak were slurred. Immediately, my coworker and I knew what had happened. We jumped into action – him practically carrying her down the stairs while I gathered the numerous empty pill bottles in her apartment. We drove as fast as we could to the hospital, and we both prayed that the Lord would keep his precious daughter in this world. And by His grace, he did.
I believe the Lord opened doors for me to be a foster care caseworker. I believe he placed a passion in me to love orphans and bring comfort and guidance to those going through the hardest times in their lives. I also believe that he has given me everything I need to live a life that reflects who he is, even in the most challenging moments of life.
If I’m being honest, though, it’s hard to believe that I have everything I need in the middle of chaos. Like the night when I spent hours upon hours at the hospital with emaciated little boys covered in bruises, or the day when I feared for my safety because a biological mother screamed in my face and wouldn’t let me get in my car to leave, or the day I had to testify in court that a parent’s rights should be terminated because of the abuse and trauma they inflicted on their children. Man, those days and nights, I was asking God, “Why?”
“Why is the world so broken? Why does everything have to be so hard? How am I qualified to love these kids or help make these decisions?” I asked God these questions probably every day – in courtrooms, in hospital rooms, in roach-infested houses, in psych wards, in therapist offices, and more.
But no matter when or where I asked, the answer was always the same:
“Brennan, I am your shepherd;
You have all that you need.
I will let you rest in green meadows;
I will lead you beside peaceful streams.
I will renew your strength.
I will guide you along the right paths,
bringing honor to my name.
Even when you walk through the darkest valley,
You don’t have to be afraid, for I am close beside you.
I will protect and comfort you.”
Looking back on my time as a caseworker, I can see the Lord’s power so clearly at work – how he redeemed children’s stories and healed families along the way. I know none of this was my doing, but rather the Lord working through obedient sons and daughters who continue to advocate for the least of these. I transitioned out of my caseworker position a couple of months ago, and my husband and I have started taking classes to become licensed foster parents ourselves. We know the reality of foster care, the joys and the despairs. Though it is daunting, we know that God placed this passion in our hearts for a reason. We know he will walk alongside us every step of the way, providing us with everything we need to love children and families well.
The Lord reminds me over and over again that I’m not able to meet these children and families where they are because of any special characteristics I have. It is simply because he lives in me and continues to give me what I need to walk through this life faithful to him, showing people his love along the way.
When I got asked to write this blog, I was so excited to share something meaningful, exciting, and full of joy about working in child welfare. Something that was so beautiful and passionate and moving. Don’t get me wrong, there are many joys and beauties within foster care, but in general, the foster care system is just plain messy. But it is in this messiness that God wants to use flawed people like us – in the residue of abandonment, abuse of every kind, grief, and loneliness. God never vows in Scripture to make every hardship disappear, but he constantly promises his people that his love and presence will never abandon them. It is to these promises that I cling, and it is to these promises that you can do the same.
Post written by Brennan Breuer
Fostering Hope
Fostering Hope provides hope, support and resources to children in foster care and their families. They partner with the local Children’s Division as well as local churches, businesses and organizations to provide for the needs of children in foster care and their families.
