I’ll be home for Christmas. You can count on me. I told my mom I’d make it home this year to celebrate Christmas with the Elliott side of the family. Each year we have an Elliott Christmas, a reunion of sorts, and I’ve missed it the past several years. I’ve lost some connection with members of my family after moving away in my thirties. I don’t get home often enough. I don’t take the time to communicate with most of my cousins. So getting home for the annual Elliott Christmas party was important this year. We made plans to leave earlier than we normally would so we’d have more time at home to visit. Things, however, didn’t go according to plan. Our check engine light came on the day before we were to leave, so we needed to have the car looked at. Rather than leaving early Thursday, we didn’t get away until later in the afternoon. That forced us to stop and spend the night in Illinois and finish the drive Friday morning. No big deal. We were still going to be there most of Friday, all day Saturday, attend church on Sunday and drive home Sunday evening. But snow was again in the forecast for Saturday afternoon and bitter cold temps were moving in behind the snow for Sunday morning. Most of the family, living further out, could not make the drive on Saturday for the party. Our typical family gathering of 20 was now a small group of 9. We ate and shared stories, then Carol and I got back on the road again before the bitter cold settled in. Changing plans on both ends of the trip was unexpected and unfortunate. I figure we drove approximately 18 hours to spend a grand total of 16 waking hours with our family. Not what we had planned.
But it was worth it. My family was worth the effort. Being home for Christmas, even for a few hours, was worth it. I love my messy family.
I understand, not everyone is thrilled about going home for Christmas. Not every home or family gathering will leave us feeling merry and bright. I recognize not everyone reading this had a family to go home to this Christmas. Not everyone had the time off work or the resources to travel to family. And not every family is, well, safe to come home to. If we’re being honest, for some, going home is not always wise. I think a lot about unhealthy or abusive family situations and how these can make Christmas a very stressful and painful time of year. Being a counselor, part of my work is listening and assisting people in deciding how they want to engage with, or not engage with, their families. Toxic anger, addiction or abuse that characterize many families can be more than problematic, and if this is your situation, you need to know that you are not alone. Or if you are dealing with guilt and shame from the mistakes you’ve made and sins you’ve committed, you don’t have to face that alone either. Your past doesn’t have to define you, and you can do something about your wounds and the wounds you may have inflicted.
I have a small decorative plaque hanging in my office reminding me of Jesus’s promise. “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28, NLT). Jesus gives this great invitation to everyone. All of us are in need of his healing, unburdening, forgiveness, grace and redemption. Our stories are not finished, and Jesus is willing and able to help us face our past, lay down our burdens and find our rest in Him.
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