Believe it or not, I just finished my first ever journal. Yes, I’m being serious. I wouldn’t have believed you if you told me a year ago that one day I’d be journaling. But it has proven to be very helpful. It’s not fun, I don’t enjoy doing it, but I’m doing it anyway because it’s good for me.
Journaling has become the way in which I dig deep into the pains of my past and untangle the pains of my present. At times it’s uncomfortable, because I don’t like looking my fears in the eyes. But what I’ve learned is that, as long as I am in Christ, the more I face the pain and call it for what it is, it no longer has power over me. Christ’s power is made perfect in my weakness, and He renews my strength as I trust in Him.
Our culture has become increasingly oriented around the avoidance of pain, discomfort, inconvenience, and suffering. We have developed the expectation that life should be as comfortable, convenient, entertaining, and painless as possible, and we do everything in our power to keep pain from rearing its head in our lives.
Here are some ways in which I see this showing up:
- We medicate pain instead of addressing it. We distract ourselves from difficult emotions through entertainment, food, substances, or doomscrolling. We constantly search for an antidote to the pain, whether physical or emotional.
- We abandon things when they become uncomfortable. We avoid difficult conversations, choose convenience over commitment, and quit when things get hard.
- We pursue comfort over character. We avoid physical exertion, eat unhealthy food, resist discipline, and want the results of hard work without the discomfort of the process.
In short, we want happiness without hardship, success without sacrifice, and spiritual growth without conviction or surrender. Friends, let me tell you, this is not the way of the Kingdom. The avoidance of pain is not what God calls us to (John 16:33), and the pursuit of comfort leads to death (1 Timothy 5:6). I wouldn’t say any of this if I wasn’t guilty of it myself.
I believe there are two major kinds of discomfort, or pain, in life: the first are the uncomfortable situations we willingly put ourselves in so as to build ourselves and others up. Working out, putting yourself out there, and getting coffee with the person who annoys you are all examples of this. God calls us into this kind of discomfort.
The second kind is the deep, heavy, “this hurts my soul” kind of pain. Sometimes it is handed to us without any explanation. Sometimes it happens to us as a result of our own sinful choices. Death, divorce, and sickness are all examples of this. It’s the kind that leaves us asking, “Why did this have to happen? Why am I this way? God, why won’t you do something?” While this kind of pain was not a part of God’s original design, he still calls us to welcome it and “consider it pure joy,” because it produces perseverance (James 1:2-3). It teaches us to trust that God has a greater outcome in mind even when things aren’t going the way we think they should be going. He always leads best.
There is a creature in the Arctic known as the musk ox. There are a couple things I find interesting about musk oxen. First of all, unlike the caribou and birds of the Arctic, they don’t move south during the cold winters. They stay put, and actually move upward towards the higher wind-swept ridges, where it is colder and more exposed. In the summers, they focus on eating food and building up fat in preparation for the next winter, when they will persevere and run further into the cold. Second of all, while “ox” is in their name, they’re actually more closely related to sheep.
My encouragement for you is to live life like a musk ox. Feast on God’s word in the “summer” months, and run further into the pain in the “winter” months, because that is where faith grows. Remind yourself that even as you endure the pain and grow stronger, at the end of the day, you are still just a sheep who needs a Good Shepherd. This Shepherd is good because He Himself entered into our suffering and endured the full weight of sin and pain so that one day, we won’t have to.
Hear me clearly: the goal is not to become people who love pain. It’s to become people who trust Jesus more than we fear it. So, when winter comes, don’t run south. Stay close to the Shepherd, trust His leading, and keep walking. He is faithful, He is good, and He always leads best.
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