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Never Easy, Always Simple

I grew up in a Christian home. I went to church every Sunday, prayed before every meal. I believed because my Mom told me to, and in my eyes, she was always right. But when the sexual abuse from my stepfather started and didn’t stop, and when people close to me that I loved started dying, and when my mother kicked me out for telling her about the abuse, and when the drugs took control, and when I was all alone, WHERE WAS GOD? Where was He? That was the question I asked.

I turned away, rejected any idea of a faith in anything. I was always angry, always afraid, and always empty. Then I met a regular attendee here at Christ’s Church, and I allowed myself to grow closer to her. She convinced me to go to the Women’s Encounter in Febuary of 2018 even though I didn’t want to. And for that Friday and much of that Saturday, I hated her for making me go, and I hated myself. But Saturday evening, a testimony was shared about self-worth and unconditional love, and I broke down during the song afterwards. I dropped to my knees and surrendered once again to Jesus and was baptized the following day.

I can now see that when I asked “Where is God?” He was right there, walking next to me, feeling my pain, begging me to let him carry it. But I was too stubborn and proud to let Him. And my childhood spent in kid Church has made my newfound knowledge even stronger. Yes, my faith still struggles. But without friends who never gave up on me; without a Savior who would willingly die for me and only me if that’s what it took; and without a church like Christ’s Church, I wouldn’t be where I have come to be. God is so good, all the time. And faith in Him is never easy… but it is simple.

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